My update is that I'm not. Smoking that is. In case anyone was wondering. Tomorrow will be 6 weeks.
I can't even begin to describe how liberated I feel. I'm seeing the world through new eyes.
At this point I only want a cigarette once a day. Or maybe less. I've been sick this week and didn't even think about smoking once today. Back in the day it didn't matter how sick I was, how bad my allergies were, I still would manage to smoke.
I realize that I forget to breathe. It seems so silly, forgetting to do the most natural thing in the world. Luckily we don't need to think about making our hearts beat. But if I pay attention, I notice that I hold my breath a lot. And really, the more I hold my breath, the more I want to smoke. I think that the desire to smoke has been tied to the desire to take a deep breath as ironic as that might sound. I'm relearning how to inhale deeply without taking a drag. I've really been trying to be cognizant of this. And to breath.
One major life task down, so many more to go!